I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
