Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
