You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
