i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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