he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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