so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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