Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
