I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
