I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
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