HIV tests are more positive than that guy
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Randomize
