I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
