just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Randomize
