You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
