Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
