Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize
