I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
