I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
