if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
