Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
