so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
