Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Randomize
