this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
