Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Randomize
