waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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