I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
