I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
