you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Randomize
