Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Can vaginas get frostbite?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Randomize
