best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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