They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
