there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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