You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
