no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
It's just like the Real World with babies
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
