I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
