plz talk dirty to me
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
