So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
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