Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
