Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
