Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
