i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
