i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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