I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Randomize
