Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
