a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
