yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize
