For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
