Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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