Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
