I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
