If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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