Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
either way he was missing a nipple.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
